K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
