I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
