I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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