Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize
