Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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