come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
