My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize