hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
i now understand why vodka
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
