omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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