so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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