So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
