White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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