Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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