He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
