So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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