I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I need moral support for this bender
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
