marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
