At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize