my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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