proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
