is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize