Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
im holly from the hills drunk
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
