dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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