i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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