I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
