she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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