in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
