Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
