She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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