she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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