She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
