girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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