I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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