It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
