You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
