I wannas sexs uuuuu
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
