Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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