real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize