I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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