remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize