She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
