For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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