Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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