By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
