If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize