I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
