if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
