So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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