I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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