First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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