Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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