I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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