One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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