why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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