your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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