They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
