don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
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