I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
