Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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