i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
