Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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