I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
